Die or Fly?

There are times in my life when I feel vulnerable! I have always believed that the fallibility of humans is their greatest strength, but at times like these my beliefs betray me! And surprisingly, makes me more human!
Through the glasses of arrogance you see things and smile! Much ado about nothing!
But when things happen to me, I feel like shouting at the top of my voice! I shout but the sound echoes within! It takes me a while to come to terms with the fact that I am indulging myself in a futile activity! Everyone tells me to forget and focus on task at hand, but what when the task at hand pales to insignificance compared to what you are asked to forget?
I wish to to be dead, beyond sorrow and grief, but then, the drive is so strong, that just when the firing squad is about to pull the trigger, I feel like smiling! I want to have one more try, one more hurrah, one more attempt to fly!
And thus I live on, winning and losing battles within, but, alive!
Less alive than before though! A part of me always goes numb with each such encounter. As if you have to pay a price to have the chance to breathe again. Paying my mortgages, if you can say so! They call it growing up.
No wonder when you grow up enough, you are dead!

Doing a life to life!

I believe that if life had a life and a body to live in, it would have been a pretty lady, and that, at times makes me imagine myself taking her by the scruf of the neck, kissing her hard, and then dumping her!
Wouldn't that be doing to life what life does to you?

Valentine's Day collage!

So it is 14th February. Just another day but not for a lot of people. I went out with a friend to get away from the hostel and this is what I am back with:
1) An aunty in early thirties with an uncle in mid thirties eating "Paani Puri" at a joint:
Uncle made it clear that he wants no chillies in his "paani puri". Plain and simple instruction.
Round 1: Aunty: Bhaiya, please add some chillies.
Round 2: Aunty: Bhaiya, add some "khataayi".
Round 3: Aunty: Bhaiya, put some green chillies.
Round 4: Aunty: Bhaiya, add some masala.
Poor Bhaiya!
Do women actually know what they want?
2) City Center, the famous mall in salt lake, had hosted a free dj show and there was this crowd of 300 odd, struggling to find an inch of space to put their foot and still managing to dance.
Interestingly, there was this couple of 40 year olds onlooking. I am not sure what they were wondering about. My guess is that it could be either of:
It was so simple in our times. A pigeon, a kite and a letter! OR
Wish we had this in our times!
I think it is the former. What's your take?
3)I heard of this 10th class student in a school neraby kissing a letter, which I suppose was from his girlfriend.
I wonder, is it what they show in movies that has become love now?
4) I saw this couple who would be easily past their 50s. Uncle helping Aunt have her "chaat" and instructing the vendor how she wants her dish done!
Old school of romance, zindabaad!
5) A lot of pretty gals with dumb guys, and a lot of sighs!
What price being pseudo intelligent?

Lessons from Kaju Singh

One look at Kaju Singh will bring the memories of an anonymous Bihari villain from any Hindi movie. About 5ft 10, dark, overweight, with a ‘tilak’ on his forehead that makes him look all the more villainous, dressed in a Red T-shirt and a jacket that was white once upon a time and selling tea outside Dhanbaad railway station, one look at him and you would say, a very uninspiring individual!
That’s what I thought when I walked into his shop one chilly January night, a few days back. It was about 1 in the morning and I was waiting for another train which, not surprisingly, was late! (I can never understand why the trains get delayed when you are all alone, making the wait seem even longer!)
I walked out of the station, hoping to eat something and stumbled upon this tea shop. A VCD player and a TV set blaring out the songs from the forgotten movie “Aashiqi” and a bunch of people spending time watching that, the cheap Chinese miniature lights doing what they do best- irritate, I stepped near the stove to heat up and asked for a cup of tea.
While I waited for my cup of tea, my gaze shifted from the TV set to the signboard at the top of the shop’s door. It was not the name of the tea stall, to my surprise, it read in Hindi: “Stay away from AIDS. Only awareness can stop the epidemic. For free condoms, contact Kaju Singh” I couldn’t help a smile, the idea of vending condoms at a tea shop was a novel one!
Then I looked at the back wall, and it was full of framed certificates which sang praises for the community service that Kaju Singh had done. They spoke of his contribution in spreading AIDS awareness and I saw that he had worked in all day long camps! And I looked at him going about his business! The kid who works in his shop fumbled and broke two glasses. He just bent down, picked up the pieces and threw them away.
I just stood there, watching him go about his job as if nothing had happened!
Many of us who have donated blood make sure that it appears in our CVs and forms that we fill, and here is this guy, letting go of a day’s income many a times to work in spreading awareness!
We argue with the taxiwalas to save 10 bucks, and this guy lost Rs10 because of someone else’s fault and was still unruffled!
And I am the ‘educated’ one! I wondered, how much have I lost to education and greed?

That night, when I paid for my tea, I said ‘thank you’. I walked back, humbled, and with a lump in my throat.
May be, we all can learn from Kaju Singh.

And yes, he is a Bihari, one of the many whom Raj Thackrey hates!

Democracy!

To put it simply, it is the form of government where every one has equal rights.

To put it in practice: At a party, a bunch of jokers play what they think is music, another bunch of losers do what they think is dance, I drink what we all know is alcohol, and we all have what we think is fun!

I love democracy! I can write what I think! And you still have a choice of not reading it!

PowerScrap - cut the crap!

This new year, I received 100s of new year wishes. How much I wish at least one was for me!
The fact that you can send same scrap to all the people in your friendlist at one go, and you do, makes me think that you are some really lazy bugger, who is caught between scared of being neglected by people and hence wants to make his/her prsence felt, and simultaneously not caring enough to be personal and direct.
I know you are busy, and you dont really have the time for me but why do you have to tell me that on my face? You are putting a long esteemed relationship, an acquaintance, someone you have not even met and someone who just happens to be in your friendlist, all on the same page. I might be anyone of these to you, but then, someone or the other might have been the one with whom you had a long relationship!
A scrap is an impersonal thing, so far detached. Just like an SMS! You have not wished me well, not even thought about me. I get a scrap because I happen to be in your friendlist. Because I exist, not because I matter!
It is not me that I am talking about. It very well could have been anyone of those who read this, and those who don't.
And just to make the matters worse:
I had a very good friend who passed away in a road accident. I do visit his profile once in a while. The last time I was there, I saw this: 'Wishing you and your family a very happy new year - Poweescrap".
Yes, he needs this wish, in heaven. His family will also have a great year ahead without him! Thank you! I am very sorry that he cannot reply your (s)crap so I am saying thank you on his behalf. Thanks for remembering him!

Next time you use the mass scrapping thing, just remember that you could have hurt someone by wishing him/her well!

The cynic in me!

I was talking to a batchmate of mine and learnt that Rajnikant is a god to him.

And over the course of last few years, I have come to realize that there are human beings who are 'God' to many people.

Only today I have realized that I have none! Here I am, with no idol, no religion, no God! For a moment I felt like an orphan.

I am sure there are more like me. (And if you are a female reading this and we happen to meet sometime over a cup of coffee, I would go any length to prove that I am unique! ) I have always held the opinion that being a really strong believer in god/religion/actors doesn't really help. If I need help, neither Rama nor Rajnikant(or Superstar Rajnikant as my friend warned me to call him) will come to help me! So why should I pray or follow someone?

But it is more than religion or filmstars. I have no political belief as well! I have never cast my vote because I do not believe in the system. Hell, I even abstained from voting in election for some posts in my college!

I do not have any specific taste in movies! I like psycho movies, but I like romantic movies as well! Check my profile and you would know my likings. In music, nopes,no hope there as well!

So at 24, I do not have any preference for anything in life! But my friend (I won't name him, else he would kill me!) is writing a learning algorithm that will compartmentalize my tastes and would tell me what kind of soup I would like today depending upon which side of the bed I have woken up! Jokes apart, he has a case that people actually show similar preferences in shopping and is doing a market research on that and he agrees that I am an exception.(See, I told you I am unique.)

Now that I sound like a totally uninteresting guy, there is a little positive to it!

I don't have any preference in people as well. Just don't be too sophisticated and don't think that you are god, and I can get along with you. I said "can", it doesn't mean that I will, but it gives you a chance. Wanna play? ;-)

OK, its neither matrimonial, nor dating profile so I will come back to the central idea.
So how bad/good it is to be ideal less? Honestly, I feel that makes me more open to people and experiences. I do not have staunch beliefs to shut people off. (There is a completely different set of reasons to explain my unpopularity but this is certainly not one of them.)

I have friends from all religions, all age groups, all strata of society, or as they call them in Marketing Research, SEC-A, B and C! Yes, I am limited to friendship with people belonging to either of the sexes only, but I guess that does not dilute my case. :-) And I haven't done too badly in life so, cheers to the cynical me!

Cheers!!