No, I won’t blame Murphy for his laws! But now I just cannot help smiling at them! How true!
It was yesterday,I woke up late for my SIMCAT Test at 10.30, but still made it to the examination room on time, only to learn that the center did not have any question papers left ! Hence I had to run to the other center! I reached, but with fifteen minutes less for a two and a half hour long paper . To top it all, I started feeling pain in my stomach that reminded me that I had not had even a cup of tea since morning. But I sat through the paper and did FINE though i was not very happy then! Then I left for E-Square multiplex only to meet a MAMA (policewala) on my way.
No license, No PUC, No registration Papers! And I was not able to give him “I have no money!” story as I had quite a lot of money in my wallet! My wallet was lighter by 200 bucks by the time I was done with him! Then I went to watch a movie to find every watchable movie housefull . It was pretty hot at 2 in the afternoon and I had to meet a friend at 5 so I decided to watch ANY movie and to make my already bad day worse, it had to be DIL DIYA HAI!
I have not seen a movie worth writing a review about, but this one deserves its due. The movie opens with an item number by Udita Goswami and Asmit Patel! Lots of white skin, a pathetic Himesh Reshamiya song, some pole dancing follow... 5 minutes into the movie and one is left with no illusions about it being good. But there are times in your life when you want to torture yourself; times, when your tooth is about to fall ; you know that it hurts, but you still tease it with your tongue so that it hurts a bit more, and it gives you kicks!( I had paid for the movie and I was going to watch it, come what may!)
So, the the next few minutes are spent in establishing the fact the Asmit Patel is a BAD man to the D and to prove that, he is shown killing two people for no particular reason. He lives on drugs and liquor, is suppose to trade in human flesh or for some other strange reasons, is interested in getting Indian girls for his deals. (He is so bad that next time your kid is in no mood to sleep, please DO NOT SCARE HIM WITH ASMIT'S NAME!As far as i think, your kid might just end wetting his pants!)
Then you have Emran Hashmi, enters the movie by breaking a glass, and you know that he is poor despite that fact that he drives a BMW and sports designer jackets. He is in great trouble, he need 40K pounds to get his mother’s lungs transplant done, but fails to evoke any pathos in the audience. I did not feel any sympathy for him! He runs a travel agency with his partner Patel, whose first name is not important. Why is it not important? I don’t know; ask the director,may he did not bother to give him one! Then there is the girl. (THE GIRL. Geeta Basra, who playes Neha in the film is great to look at. Lot of people might not find her attractive and I wont blame them for that, she is not fair! But she has a good figure, lovely smile, beautiful eyes and dusky skin for which I have a fetish. She looks hot! There is this scene she calls Emraan at 4 in the morning to her room only to say that she was joking and says”Even Stevens Mr Saahil” That smile is worth killing for. I could have cut my heart out, begged on one knee for her to marry her, if she could keep that smile and twinkle in the eye for ever!)
Let’s get back to the movie! The girl and her family arrive from India on a tour of London and the tour is arranged by Saahil (Emraan). They try to trick the family by giving them sub standard facilities but the girl would have none of it! And to make up for that failed attempt, Saahil promises to be at their service 24X7! It is ok so far! Then you see the hero going to a bank to ask for loan and for the security of which he has a rented place to show! I mean, how silly that is! And then he gives a lecture to the bank manager on what he should do with the bank’s money, trying to raise sympathy in the viewer and failing miserably, again! During the course of his 24X7 service, he takes the girl to a disco and that song is the best song of the movie. It was great to listen that in the hall. There come Asmit Patel’s men, clicking the Indian crowd for the right chick! (That was very innovative actually, having a mobile camera to catch the dancing girls and to decide which one to pick. It looked so easy that was wondering if that movie was actually based in London!) And as luck would have it, they pick Neha! And then Neha misses her train to Scotland, is taken on a car to Scotland by Saahil. She has a sandwich on the highway, despite being warned by our hero that it was unhygienic, and as our hero foretold, she has a stomach bug and that too at a place on the highway where there is no clinic. But there is ofcourse Mithun’s (yes you read it right, Mithun Charaborty) house where they seek shelter. We are told that Mithun was a baddie himself but gave up everything bad for ‘love’.
It is now that the movie becomes unbearable! It is diificult tto stand Mithun’s character Ronnie. He preaches, plays a guitar and is...well, Mithun!
Then the girl stays there all night, reaches Scotland the next day. The hero learns that his mother is too sick and needs cash immediately, and this takes him to a casino. He, predictably enough, fails again( give me a break, he is Emraan, not Shakuni Mama!).
Then he gets a call. (There is supposed to be suspense here, pretend at least!)
The girl gets kidnapped and is seen with Asmit Patel, who planned to sell her but then decides against it and plans to marry her! [There is a song sequence where Asmit gets to do the love making scene which is again very aesthetically shot! If you look at the love making scenes in Murder, Aashiq Banaya Apne and this one, nothing has changed except the color of the bed sheet(of course, the actors are different, if you can call them that). It was black in Murder, White in ABA, and Red in DDH!]
Emrran gets a call from the girl's sister enquiring about her BUT (in midst of all DISTRESS and CHAOS) does not forget to tell him that Neha is in love with him!(Wow!).
Emraan goes to Asmit's place, with a lie that the girl's father had a heart attack (that was original!) and asking for the girl to come with her. Asmit declines and then Emraan kidnaps her from there (again!). He runs away from there beating the bad guys and being beaten by the girl! Guess where he goes?? To Mithun's place asking his help to drop the girl to her parents.
Mithun grabs this opportunity to scold Emraan,Emraan cries and tries to justify his action( He ctually says," Maa ke pyaar ke saamne mujhe Neha ka pyaar chhota laga" Wah! wah!) and then leaves???
No, he doesn't. Insread, he waits by his car for Mithun to sing a song, comes back and the girl forgives him for selling him to a brothel (Are huzoor; wah pyaar kahiye!)! And then Asmit patel comes with his gang, Mithun and Emraan nearly kill them all. But Mithun's wife is shot at by Asmit, and Asmit's baddies refuse to shoot Mithun and run away!
Then, in the hospital, Mithun's wife pleads to get the girl back for the "sake of love".
Mithun, the 'respected bad man' that he is, goes to Asmit's father’s place who apparently owns his empire to Mithun. He asks his son to return the girl, gets killed, and ok, finally( i just want to finish it now) Asmit is killed.
The girl's family is told a story that both Emraan and Neha got kidnapped, which they believe!
The story ends and so does this piece with a word of advice (It should have a social message, shouldn't it?). Stay home, don’t watch this movie!
Monday, September 11, 2006
My first flight.
Ok, I have had my flights of imagination in worlds lesser known to anybody but myself; but this was the first time I was flying in the territory known to the birds and people who can afford the flights.
I was all excitement, I had never had felt a force closer to the g force that you experience when the plane takes off and the acceleration (0-60 in 6 secs flat does not qualify!). I left for Mumbai on Friday evening after an eventful day and stayed with my friend and kept asking him about the things to do and not to do on a flight and inside the airport. (This is closest to Navjot Singh Siddhu’s famous kid in a topless bar!).
I left my friend’s place at 4.30 in the morning and reached Sahara Airport after changing three modes of transportation. I reached the airport by 6 in the morning, and I was ushered in to the security check. The dream was materializing. I was about to fly in an hours time!
I went through the security gate and the customary and formal checking (I do not understand what purpose they serve coz I have never heard of any body with intentions to hijack being discouraged by those procedures!).Then I went to get the boarding pass.
The dream......hmmmm.......it was coming to an end..... and HOW is what follows....
I had the ticket of Sahara airlines on a JET airways coupon (which, when I got it, found very natural because of the merger thing in the air).The lady at the counter who has been trained to give fake smiles and greet you with the softest of voices even when she hates you like anything, greeted me with similar sincerity;with the same I- want- to- help-but- I- can't look! She said that she could not allow me to board the flight as it was on a jet airways coupon!
I was asked to speak to the Jet airways people and only they could take me to Calcutta. I spoke to them and was told that even though the ticket was on a Jet airways coupon, they could not take me in unless the Sahara people endorse that as it was for a Sahara flight!
As the merger deal fell through, they had stopped accepting the other party’s coupons!
I was losing my patience, and my dreaming was changing to a nightmare.
I was asked to cancel the ticket I was holding, and that I would need to book afresh and only then I can fly. Also, that as the ticket was booked by a travel agent (Travelguru.com) they could not refund the amount, theycould only stamp it 'FULL REFUND'! I would have to claim them.
I had no choice but to do what I was asked to, and I booked a new ticket for Calcutta and thankfully I got one for Rs5150, Rs1700 more than what I was paying initially! Thank god to credit cards that I was able to book that, my account only had 4000/- bucks!
I was told in the sweetest voices that they understood it was not my fault, but they could not help me. I felt as if they were telling me, look, we get paid to talk in sweet voices and do hell with your problem and get off my face.
And to top it all, the guy who advised me to book afresh, had the audacity to tell me that i was NOW actually flying cheaper!! I have had enough. I turned around and said," You have some balls to say that to a guy you have harassed in last 45 minutes, for a seemingly stupid thing!”
I was relieved to be actually leaving that I did not think much of the cost of the flight. (I would when I get the credit card bill!).
I did not get a window seat, the one who had, was sleeping all the time and I cursed her all the time that if she only wanted to sleep, why the hell she was occupying the window seat!
I learnt all the intricacies of SAREE trade because of an over enthusiastic lady to my immediate back, she had the ability to talk nonstop and she did that for two and a half hours, the entire duration of the flight. And she had the right volume, loud enough to not let you sleep and soft enough to ensure that you don’t turn around and ask her to talk softly!
And then, the airhostess was not pretty! Man, I said, all this has to happen to me!
At least the breakfast was good! I had no clue how to go about it. I just kept observing my neighbors from the corners of my eyes and went about it the way they did. They asked for Tea, I asked for tea, which was, to put it simply, YUK!
In the mean time, I forgot to tell you the good things about the flight. The acceleration on the runway, the steep climb while takeoff, the joy of things getting smaller and then getting lost in the clouds, the curve the plane takes while turning, the chance to look at the Mumbai sea from up above, the sight of the high rises, it was great! But that joy only lasts some 15 minutes, once you are in the clouds, it gets boring, it seems that the plane is stationary; there is no movement at all!
I just read every newspaper that was there to be read in the flight, and reached safely to Calcutta. How much I wanted to experience some turbulence in the air! Some bomb scare maybe, to add up some Xing that was missing in the airhostess!
One thing I could not understand-about the emergency procedures that we would need to follow if the plane had to make an emergency landing in water- where is a water body big enough for a Boeing 747 in between Mumbai and Calcutta? I found that very funny that security procedures are being followed just for the heck of them!
I landed at the Calcutta airport sharp at 10. and then I was waiting for my luggage, and as it went round and round without showing any signs of bag, I was getting anxious. I saw people staying calm about it, but I only pretended to be. That flight was to leave for Guwahati, and if they forgot to bring my back down, I would be with the only clothes on my body till they got it right. But after 15 mins, I saw my bag and was relieved to see that!
Then I had my ticket cancelled at the Calcutta airport and I left, for Salt Lake. The best thing about coming home after so many days is that taxiwalas think that you are totally new and ask for absorbitant fares. It is a joy to see the look on their faces when you tell them the exact fare and distance!
The flight was over and it left some questions to ponder about!
I had a valid ticket, some airlines had the money I paid, and there was of course a vacant seat. They could have saved me of all that trouble by just communicating among themselves and taking me on board. They did not. Have we enterd the age which realizes that the consumer is the god? Probably in India, we are not yet ready for that. There were two airlines, playing ping ping with me, when I had done everything right! And to think that nobody would lose his job over this, it makes me hate my job, coz I might lose it if I deal my clients like that!
We are still some way still quite some leagues away professionalism, and let us not get excited with the prospects of a improving services industry as we are actually not. The gloss is there, the substance is not. We run behind the shield of norms and rules when we are held by the collar and are made to answer the questions.
And it is 7 days since I logged my complaint at the Travelguru. I am yet to hear from them.
One thing is for sure, I am not going to use any of the three service providers ever if I can help that! And it also makes a case for the poor call center operatives for it is them who have to handle the angry customers for the goof ups at the backend!
Are we making the right people accountable? NO.
Are we ready to set things right? NO!
'Chalta hai yaar!'(...?...)
I was all excitement, I had never had felt a force closer to the g force that you experience when the plane takes off and the acceleration (0-60 in 6 secs flat does not qualify!). I left for Mumbai on Friday evening after an eventful day and stayed with my friend and kept asking him about the things to do and not to do on a flight and inside the airport. (This is closest to Navjot Singh Siddhu’s famous kid in a topless bar!).
I left my friend’s place at 4.30 in the morning and reached Sahara Airport after changing three modes of transportation. I reached the airport by 6 in the morning, and I was ushered in to the security check. The dream was materializing. I was about to fly in an hours time!
I went through the security gate and the customary and formal checking (I do not understand what purpose they serve coz I have never heard of any body with intentions to hijack being discouraged by those procedures!).Then I went to get the boarding pass.
The dream......hmmmm.......it was coming to an end..... and HOW is what follows....
I had the ticket of Sahara airlines on a JET airways coupon (which, when I got it, found very natural because of the merger thing in the air).The lady at the counter who has been trained to give fake smiles and greet you with the softest of voices even when she hates you like anything, greeted me with similar sincerity;with the same I- want- to- help-but- I- can't look! She said that she could not allow me to board the flight as it was on a jet airways coupon!
I was asked to speak to the Jet airways people and only they could take me to Calcutta. I spoke to them and was told that even though the ticket was on a Jet airways coupon, they could not take me in unless the Sahara people endorse that as it was for a Sahara flight!
As the merger deal fell through, they had stopped accepting the other party’s coupons!
I was losing my patience, and my dreaming was changing to a nightmare.
I was asked to cancel the ticket I was holding, and that I would need to book afresh and only then I can fly. Also, that as the ticket was booked by a travel agent (Travelguru.com) they could not refund the amount, theycould only stamp it 'FULL REFUND'! I would have to claim them.
I had no choice but to do what I was asked to, and I booked a new ticket for Calcutta and thankfully I got one for Rs5150, Rs1700 more than what I was paying initially! Thank god to credit cards that I was able to book that, my account only had 4000/- bucks!
I was told in the sweetest voices that they understood it was not my fault, but they could not help me. I felt as if they were telling me, look, we get paid to talk in sweet voices and do hell with your problem and get off my face.
And to top it all, the guy who advised me to book afresh, had the audacity to tell me that i was NOW actually flying cheaper!! I have had enough. I turned around and said," You have some balls to say that to a guy you have harassed in last 45 minutes, for a seemingly stupid thing!”
I was relieved to be actually leaving that I did not think much of the cost of the flight. (I would when I get the credit card bill!).
I did not get a window seat, the one who had, was sleeping all the time and I cursed her all the time that if she only wanted to sleep, why the hell she was occupying the window seat!
I learnt all the intricacies of SAREE trade because of an over enthusiastic lady to my immediate back, she had the ability to talk nonstop and she did that for two and a half hours, the entire duration of the flight. And she had the right volume, loud enough to not let you sleep and soft enough to ensure that you don’t turn around and ask her to talk softly!
And then, the airhostess was not pretty! Man, I said, all this has to happen to me!
At least the breakfast was good! I had no clue how to go about it. I just kept observing my neighbors from the corners of my eyes and went about it the way they did. They asked for Tea, I asked for tea, which was, to put it simply, YUK!
In the mean time, I forgot to tell you the good things about the flight. The acceleration on the runway, the steep climb while takeoff, the joy of things getting smaller and then getting lost in the clouds, the curve the plane takes while turning, the chance to look at the Mumbai sea from up above, the sight of the high rises, it was great! But that joy only lasts some 15 minutes, once you are in the clouds, it gets boring, it seems that the plane is stationary; there is no movement at all!
I just read every newspaper that was there to be read in the flight, and reached safely to Calcutta. How much I wanted to experience some turbulence in the air! Some bomb scare maybe, to add up some Xing that was missing in the airhostess!
One thing I could not understand-about the emergency procedures that we would need to follow if the plane had to make an emergency landing in water- where is a water body big enough for a Boeing 747 in between Mumbai and Calcutta? I found that very funny that security procedures are being followed just for the heck of them!
I landed at the Calcutta airport sharp at 10. and then I was waiting for my luggage, and as it went round and round without showing any signs of bag, I was getting anxious. I saw people staying calm about it, but I only pretended to be. That flight was to leave for Guwahati, and if they forgot to bring my back down, I would be with the only clothes on my body till they got it right. But after 15 mins, I saw my bag and was relieved to see that!
Then I had my ticket cancelled at the Calcutta airport and I left, for Salt Lake. The best thing about coming home after so many days is that taxiwalas think that you are totally new and ask for absorbitant fares. It is a joy to see the look on their faces when you tell them the exact fare and distance!
The flight was over and it left some questions to ponder about!
I had a valid ticket, some airlines had the money I paid, and there was of course a vacant seat. They could have saved me of all that trouble by just communicating among themselves and taking me on board. They did not. Have we enterd the age which realizes that the consumer is the god? Probably in India, we are not yet ready for that. There were two airlines, playing ping ping with me, when I had done everything right! And to think that nobody would lose his job over this, it makes me hate my job, coz I might lose it if I deal my clients like that!
We are still some way still quite some leagues away professionalism, and let us not get excited with the prospects of a improving services industry as we are actually not. The gloss is there, the substance is not. We run behind the shield of norms and rules when we are held by the collar and are made to answer the questions.
And it is 7 days since I logged my complaint at the Travelguru. I am yet to hear from them.
One thing is for sure, I am not going to use any of the three service providers ever if I can help that! And it also makes a case for the poor call center operatives for it is them who have to handle the angry customers for the goof ups at the backend!
Are we making the right people accountable? NO.
Are we ready to set things right? NO!
'Chalta hai yaar!'(...?...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
