A day that was!

No, I won’t blame Murphy for his laws! But now I just cannot help smiling at them! How true!

It was yesterday,I woke up late for my SIMCAT Test at 10.30, but still made it to the examination room on time, only to learn that the center did not have any question papers left ! Hence I had to run to the other center! I reached, but with fifteen minutes less for a two and a half hour long paper . To top it all, I started feeling pain in my stomach that reminded me that I had not had even a cup of tea since morning. But I sat through the paper and did FINE though i was not very happy then! Then I left for E-Square multiplex only to meet a MAMA (policewala) on my way.
No license, No PUC, No registration Papers! And I was not able to give him “I have no money!” story as I had quite a lot of money in my wallet! My wallet was lighter by 200 bucks by the time I was done with him! Then I went to watch a movie to find every watchable movie housefull . It was pretty hot at 2 in the afternoon and I had to meet a friend at 5 so I decided to watch ANY movie and to make my already bad day worse, it had to be DIL DIYA HAI!
I have not seen a movie worth writing a review about, but this one deserves its due. The movie opens with an item number by Udita Goswami and Asmit Patel! Lots of white skin, a pathetic Himesh Reshamiya song, some pole dancing follow... 5 minutes into the movie and one is left with no illusions about it being good. But there are times in your life when you want to torture yourself; times, when your tooth is about to fall ; you know that it hurts, but you still tease it with your tongue so that it hurts a bit more, and it gives you kicks!( I had paid for the movie and I was going to watch it, come what may!)
So, the the next few minutes are spent in establishing the fact the Asmit Patel is a BAD man to the D and to prove that, he is shown killing two people for no particular reason. He lives on drugs and liquor, is suppose to trade in human flesh or for some other strange reasons, is interested in getting Indian girls for his deals. (He is so bad that next time your kid is in no mood to sleep, please DO NOT SCARE HIM WITH ASMIT'S NAME!As far as i think, your kid might just end wetting his pants!)
Then you have Emran Hashmi, enters the movie by breaking a glass, and you know that he is poor despite that fact that he drives a BMW and sports designer jackets. He is in great trouble, he need 40K pounds to get his mother’s lungs transplant done, but fails to evoke any pathos in the audience. I did not feel any sympathy for him! He runs a travel agency with his partner Patel, whose first name is not important. Why is it not important? I don’t know; ask the director,may he did not bother to give him one! Then there is the girl. (THE GIRL. Geeta Basra, who playes Neha in the film is great to look at. Lot of people might not find her attractive and I wont blame them for that, she is not fair! But she has a good figure, lovely smile, beautiful eyes and dusky skin for which I have a fetish. She looks hot! There is this scene she calls Emraan at 4 in the morning to her room only to say that she was joking and says”Even Stevens Mr Saahil” That smile is worth killing for. I could have cut my heart out, begged on one knee for her to marry her, if she could keep that smile and twinkle in the eye for ever!)
Let’s get back to the movie! The girl and her family arrive from India on a tour of London and the tour is arranged by Saahil (Emraan). They try to trick the family by giving them sub standard facilities but the girl would have none of it! And to make up for that failed attempt, Saahil promises to be at their service 24X7! It is ok so far! Then you see the hero going to a bank to ask for loan and for the security of which he has a rented place to show! I mean, how silly that is! And then he gives a lecture to the bank manager on what he should do with the bank’s money, trying to raise sympathy in the viewer and failing miserably, again! During the course of his 24X7 service, he takes the girl to a disco and that song is the best song of the movie. It was great to listen that in the hall. There come Asmit Patel’s men, clicking the Indian crowd for the right chick! (That was very innovative actually, having a mobile camera to catch the dancing girls and to decide which one to pick. It looked so easy that was wondering if that movie was actually based in London!) And as luck would have it, they pick Neha! And then Neha misses her train to Scotland, is taken on a car to Scotland by Saahil. She has a sandwich on the highway, despite being warned by our hero that it was unhygienic, and as our hero foretold, she has a stomach bug and that too at a place on the highway where there is no clinic. But there is ofcourse Mithun’s (yes you read it right, Mithun Charaborty) house where they seek shelter. We are told that Mithun was a baddie himself but gave up everything bad for ‘love’.
It is now that the movie becomes unbearable! It is diificult tto stand Mithun’s character Ronnie. He preaches, plays a guitar and is...well, Mithun!
Then the girl stays there all night, reaches Scotland the next day. The hero learns that his mother is too sick and needs cash immediately, and this takes him to a casino. He, predictably enough, fails again( give me a break, he is Emraan, not Shakuni Mama!).
Then he gets a call. (There is supposed to be suspense here, pretend at least!)
The girl gets kidnapped and is seen with Asmit Patel, who planned to sell her but then decides against it and plans to marry her! [There is a song sequence where Asmit gets to do the love making scene which is again very aesthetically shot! If you look at the love making scenes in Murder, Aashiq Banaya Apne and this one, nothing has changed except the color of the bed sheet(of course, the actors are different, if you can call them that). It was black in Murder, White in ABA, and Red in DDH!]
Emrran gets a call from the girl's sister enquiring about her BUT (in midst of all DISTRESS and CHAOS) does not forget to tell him that Neha is in love with him!(Wow!).
Emraan goes to Asmit's place, with a lie that the girl's father had a heart attack (that was original!) and asking for the girl to come with her. Asmit declines and then Emraan kidnaps her from there (again!). He runs away from there beating the bad guys and being beaten by the girl! Guess where he goes?? To Mithun's place asking his help to drop the girl to her parents.
Mithun grabs this opportunity to scold Emraan,Emraan cries and tries to justify his action( He ctually says," Maa ke pyaar ke saamne mujhe Neha ka pyaar chhota laga" Wah! wah!) and then leaves???
No, he doesn't. Insread, he waits by his car for Mithun to sing a song, comes back and the girl forgives him for selling him to a brothel (Are huzoor; wah pyaar kahiye!)! And then Asmit patel comes with his gang, Mithun and Emraan nearly kill them all. But Mithun's wife is shot at by Asmit, and Asmit's baddies refuse to shoot Mithun and run away!
Then, in the hospital, Mithun's wife pleads to get the girl back for the "sake of love".
Mithun, the 'respected bad man' that he is, goes to Asmit's father’s place who apparently owns his empire to Mithun. He asks his son to return the girl, gets killed, and ok, finally( i just want to finish it now) Asmit is killed.
The girl's family is told a story that both Emraan and Neha got kidnapped, which they believe!
The story ends and so does this piece with a word of advice (It should have a social message, shouldn't it?). Stay home, don’t watch this movie!